Why I Walk: My Daddy

I was going to make this a Friday feature of my blog but I find that I just can't wait to share this part of my story.

My father was not the easiest person to get along with  (understatement?  Probably) but I loved him with all of my heart.  When I was 16 he was diagnosed with lymphatic leukemia.  I heard Lymphoma mentioned too.  Not sure what the final diagnoses was.   He saw himself as a strong man who never needed a doctor.  So when he started feeling achy, he passed it off and kept driving his truck.  By the time his employer insisted he see a doctor his cancer had reached Stage IV.

For my 17th birthday, the only thing I wanted was to see my daddy.  I got a Grayhound bus ticket.  My only present that year. My grandparents picked me up at the bus station and Uncle Tommy and Uncle James loaded up the car and took me to visit him.  Daddy was unrecognizable.  His hair was frazzled and wild looking.  Not the neat flat top I had always known him to have.  He was bloated with chemo and steroids and in no way resembled the strong man I associated with being my Dad.  He used a walking stick and only stood up one time.

It broke my heart to see him this way.

The trucking company sponsored a blood drive for Dad.   I wanted to come and give blood for my dad.  To me it seemed like something so small.  A pinprick to give him life.  Dad couldn't stand the idea of his cancer hurting me more than it already had.  He asked me not to do it.  No needles for his baby girl.

Being a good daughter, I obeyed him.

He lost his battle with cancer July 1, 1990.  I was 18 and just out of high school.

As I got older and I saw more people with cancer, I wanted to do something to help.  I started with my hair. Every 5 years or so, I donate my ponytail to locks of love.  Then I thought about running a marathon.  This from a lady who doesn't run at all.  If you see me running, you better be two steps faster.  There is something nasty behind me.     But it is still my goal.  Run not walk.

That goal is a little overwhelming for someone who doesn't run.

Then I started thinking about other forms of cancer and those who have been affected by it.  Breast cancer was a big one.  I found the Komen 3 Day event and thought wow.  If I can do that, and I know I can, then I can run a marathon.

I don't just walk for women with breast cancer.  I walk for those I care about who have had to suffer from any form of cancer.  This is simply my first event.  I decided to start big.

The fundraising requirements are high because fundraising is the purpose of this event.  The money donated to the Komen foundation goes to fun cancer research and early screening programs.

What would have happened if my father had gone to the doctor earlier?  Would I still have him?  What if a simple blood test had discovered his low platelet count months before he was diagnosed?

What if?

Why do I walk?  I walk for my father who didn't live to see 40.